Time to catch up

My legs were pretty stiff on my gentle jaunt around South Cave this morning, after yesterday's half marathon followed by a six-hour train journey up to Yorkshire.

I've delivered my three workshops for the day, which went really well and am now sitting in a coffee shop in Brough, waiting for the first of the three trains that will take me home.

I've been reading about intrinsic motivation again in my gaps between workshops.

I do think it's so true that the world, at least the western world, is changing towards being more motivated by autonomy, mastery and purpose rather than by profit alone. At least it's true for individuals.

Now it's up to businesses and government to recognise this and catch up with the rest of us.

Is this about me?

My last run in Manchester completed.

It's very different running over the top of a motorway every morning compared to my normal run along unmade up roads full of potholes, where it's unusual to meet someone walking a dog at six in the morning. The M60 has cars shooting along it at six o'clock I can assure you.

On my run, I was thinking about a comment one of the participants on my workshop made yesterday. He said that he didn't like confrontation or upsetting people, and that he was too soft.

I recognised this quality in myself, but what I realised on my run this morning is that, for me at least, when I'm in that space, the person I really don't like upsetting is me.

We, or I, fool ourselves into thinking that we are too nice and kind to deliver a tough message to someone because we don't want to hurt them.

If I needed a tough message to be delivered to me, what would I prefer?

Would it be someone who delayed giving it to me because they didn't want to hurt me?

Would it be someone who wrapped the message up in so much cotton wool (metaphorically obviously) that I didn't really understand the message?

Or would it be someone who delivered the message clearly, concisely to me, with empathy, and with complete honesty?

I know that I would prefer the latter every time.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about upsetting people for fun, but where they need to hear the message to be able to move forward or progress.

So, I'm going to stop telling myself I'm too nice and I don't like to upset people when I know that it's me I don't like to upset.

Once again, the question for me to ask is, "Is this about me or them?"