Is it good enough?

Yesterday I failed in my intention to write a blog post. I wrote one and a half sentences and then just stared at the screen thinking I don't know what to write now. 

You'd think that I'd know by now that the key when I don't know what to write is just to start writing, possibly starting with "I'm really stuck and I don't know what to write".

In some ways running my daily mile is easier, not in as much as I still need to change, go out the door and start moving even when I'm feeling tired and not really up to it. But in other ways when I'm going for a run I don't have to decide what I need to do, the only decision is at each junction, having to decide which way to go next.

Writing, especially something that I'm going to publish, even if it's only a blog post, is very public. 

No one, apart from a nosy cat, bird, or possibly fox or badger, depending on what time I run, is going to see and be able to judge what my running looks like.

But I never know who might read my blog post (if anyone at all), so straight away it has a different quality about it. The dreaded "is it good enough?" comes into the equation.

However, strangely the worst version of 'is it good enough' isn't when I'm reading what I've typed on the screen. 

The worst version is when I'm already evaluating, judging and rubbishing the thoughts in my head that haven't even hit the screen or paper yet. And it's even worse when I haven't even got any thoughts of what to write, my only thoughts being "I really don't know what to write". 

My inner critic is at his most vicious when I'm in that space.

And even though I know this at a logical level, and have done for several years now, sometimes (as Steve Peters describes in his excellent book The Chimp Paradox) my emotional chimp brain doesn't allow logic to intervene.

So there we are. I seem to have a blog post today (as well as my daily mile) so it wasn't that hard after all.

The question still remains though, so if anyone would like to answer it for me, I'd be really interested, but "is it good enough"?

The barefoot experiment

When I read Christopher McDougall's excellent Born to Run book just over five years ago, I was intrigued by the whole barefoot running concept and also with the Vibram Fivefingers footwear.

However, feeling that it would be a bit of a radical shift, potentially resulting in injury, for me to go from cushioned trainers to barefoot, I didn't follow up my interest. Since then I've heard storied of runners who made an immediate shift and did in fact injure themselves, but my fascination and curiosity never fully went away.

So on my trip to Guernsey a couple of weeks ago, when I was invited to join a group of chi runners (I've had the chi running book for several years too but not followed up on it), I found myself running with 5 other runners, two of whom were running the forest trails with me wearing, and enthusing about, their Vibram Five Fingers.

My curiosity was immediately reignited, so I'm now the proud owner of these fascinating (can I really call them) shoes.

I've walked and run / walked just under a mile in them so far.

I'll give you an update when I've built up to running my first daily mile in them.

My hero of today

This morning a few miles from home on a little bit longer run than usual, I met a man walking towards me. 

He walked with a stick because he couldn't bend one of his legs and he just had to sweep the leg out to the side and forward every other step he took. His opposite arm, that didn't carry the stick, he carried in the air as it was bent at a ninety degree angle.

As I came up to him I greeted him with a "good morning", to which he immediately responded in kind.

I then added that I thought that it was a lovely morning. He agreed and then laughed heartily.

I ran on feeling grateful to him.

Once again I realised how lucky I am to be able to run at all, let alone each day.

I was also inspired by that lone walker. He obviously had some challenges and yet here he was out for a walk at just after 8.00 on a Bank Holiday Monday morning, and he was as cheerful as can be.

My heroes don't tend to be celebrities who achieve incredible feats these days, but ordinary people doing ordinary things which, because of their personal challenges, require them to make extraordinary efforts to achieve what the rest of us take for granted. What's more they do it with a positive and cheerful disposition.

Thank you Langton Green man, you were my hero of today! 

Never regret a run

Do you ever get mornings when your body doesn't seem to work like it usually does?

I had one of those this morning. 

Not like when I had a chest infection a couple of months ago. It was more like my legs were lodging an official complaint, maybe because I'd run four miles nine hours earlier.

It would have been the easiest thing to just give into my legs and let them own the decision, after all I'm always espousing how we should listen to our bodies much more.

Yet I knew, even though it was very hard to justify it, that all I was going to do was take my legs on a very gentle mile (and a little bit), which would possibly even help them to recover.

Anyway, with 48 consecutive days under my belt, and the previous 1,909 before I had to pause for my chest infection, it made it easier for me to overrule my legs and venture out, extremely gingerly I have to admit.

Once I was going it all came flooding back to me - how privileged I am to be able to run at all; and how I knew for a fact that I would feel more alert, more lively and more able to create a really good day once I returned home.

Yet again, no matter how excruciating it was to drag myself out of the door this morning, I once again proved that I've never regretted going out for a run (unless it's with a chest infection).

A new experiment

The last time I posted here was just before I had to hang up my running shoes for a few days. 

After struggling on for a week or two feeling pretty awful, when I finally decided to visit the doctor, she listened to my chest, and exclaimed, "That sounds like a bit of a mess."

So part reluctantly but also a little relieved, after 1,909 consecutive days of my daily mile I took a few days off to let myself recover.

I've said many times before that I've never come back from a run regretting that I'd gone, but in the last few days before I hung up my running shoes, something was different, and I was definitely sensing that I was doing the wrong thing by running.

So anyway after my few days off I'm right back on it again and this morning ran my 33rd consecutive run in my new running streak.

I have absolutely no regrets about stopping. The reason that I started my mile each day experiment was to create a sustainable running habit that could hopefully help me to keep running for years, avoiding the common runners' problem of overtraining and then getting injured and not being able to run for a while.

So I have a new experiment, which is really an extension of the previous one. I'm not abandoning or ignoring my successful 1,909 days, I'm just building on it.

Keep on running!