I was out shortly after 5.00 a.m. running my mile this morning, as I had a potential 2-hour drive ahead of me to coach a group of teaching assistants all day on delivering 21st Century Legacy's Be the Best You Can Be! programme.
During my run I saw two cars and three animals, one real and two imaginary.
The real animal was a fox, who trotted a few yards out of my way and then just turned to watch me go by, and the two imaginary ones were a dog which turned out to be a shadow from a streetlamp, and another creature of uncertain species, which turned out to be 2 reflectors on a street name.
There's something about the dark that brings out the darker side of our imagination. Trees sprout limbs, creatures are concocted from all sorts of shadows and even wind noises, and rustling leaves bring to life people who's main aim is our demise.
So what can we do when we're feeling in a dark place and our imagination is conjuring up our own demons?
Well, I don't know about you, but what worked for me this morning was to run towards my demons and to illuminate them by shining my head torch on them.
What helps you to illuminate your demons?
Monday 31 October 2011
Sunday 30 October 2011
3 ways to avoid disillusion
Setting overly high expectations can be dangerous, particularly if you are convinced that those expectations will be met.
This is not the same as having an inspiring vision, where you are not attached to exactly how it will come about or the timescale.
An example is that somehow I expected that my running would automatically be easier with my brand new "boingy" running shoes.
It isn't. The three runs that I've done since buying the new shoes have been slower than I've run for a while, and have also felt harder.
The danger of unrealistic or overblown expectations is the disillusionment that can easily follow.
There are three ways to limit the damage of overly high expectations.
This is not the same as having an inspiring vision, where you are not attached to exactly how it will come about or the timescale.
An example is that somehow I expected that my running would automatically be easier with my brand new "boingy" running shoes.
It isn't. The three runs that I've done since buying the new shoes have been slower than I've run for a while, and have also felt harder.
The danger of unrealistic or overblown expectations is the disillusionment that can easily follow.
There are three ways to limit the damage of overly high expectations.
- Make sure that what you are doing is ingrained as a habit and is not in danger of collapsing through disappointment. Whereas I might have become despondent and possibly even struggled to keep going with my running a year or two ago, because I have run every day now for 668 days, it doesn't even register on my radar as a possibility.
- Make sure you set yourself a secondary expectation along the lines of "Well that would be fantastic, but if that doesn't happen, then at least...."
- The third is to step back and look at the bigger picture - the inspiring vision. My inspiring vision for my running is to still be running a mile every day (at least on days where it's possible) until I'm in my 70's and beyond. My last three runs are not significant to that bigger picture. My new running shoes will probably still improve my chances of reaching my vision.
Saturday 29 October 2011
On de-educating myself
As I scampered along (see yesterday's post for explanation) on my mile-and-a-bit route this morning, I got to thinking about my 11-month granddaughter, who we babysat last night.
I find it fascinating, because at that age children know exactly what they like and what they don't like. They have none of the politeness that those of us who have been "educated" have, which often means pretending that you like something that you don't, just to keep someone else happy.
So, in many ways little children are much more honest and truer to themselves.
When my granddaughter likes what she's being fed, she opens her mouth for more or tries to grab the food herself to self-administer.
When she doesn't like something, she spits it straight out and wipes all traces of it from her mouth.
So you'd think that at the tender age of 11 months, that must surely indicate that children are self obsessed with no interest in what others think.
But my granddaughter is also highly skilled at creating rapport with others. If you cheer or clap when she does something, she smiles, laughs and does it even more.
She plays to and commands her audience. And yet, she is obviously not doing this from politeness or because she thinks she "ought to".
Maybe my education has taught me not to trust what I want and not to refuse what I don't want, and it's taught me to live my live doing exactly what I think others expect and want from me.
What if I were to de-educate myself to go for what I want, to refuse what I don't want, and yet still choose to have fun interacting others when it was fun and made me feel good?
Now, that could be interesting.
I find it fascinating, because at that age children know exactly what they like and what they don't like. They have none of the politeness that those of us who have been "educated" have, which often means pretending that you like something that you don't, just to keep someone else happy.
So, in many ways little children are much more honest and truer to themselves.
When my granddaughter likes what she's being fed, she opens her mouth for more or tries to grab the food herself to self-administer.
When she doesn't like something, she spits it straight out and wipes all traces of it from her mouth.
So you'd think that at the tender age of 11 months, that must surely indicate that children are self obsessed with no interest in what others think.
But my granddaughter is also highly skilled at creating rapport with others. If you cheer or clap when she does something, she smiles, laughs and does it even more.
She plays to and commands her audience. And yet, she is obviously not doing this from politeness or because she thinks she "ought to".
Maybe my education has taught me not to trust what I want and not to refuse what I don't want, and it's taught me to live my live doing exactly what I think others expect and want from me.
What if I were to de-educate myself to go for what I want, to refuse what I don't want, and yet still choose to have fun interacting others when it was fun and made me feel good?
Now, that could be interesting.
Friday 28 October 2011
The meanings we attach
I scampered round my 2-mile circuit on a brand new pair of shiny running shoes this morning.
Now a new pair of running shoes may not sound anything special, but if you'd seen what my old running shoes looked like, then you'd know that it was a significant event.
I use the word scamper because that's how my friend in the running shop described my running style after filming me running on a treadmill in the shop.
Someone else in the shop said that scampering didn't sound too bad. Apparently he thought that it sounded like newborn lambs leaping about.
I thought, "Yes, they have very stiff straight legs too."
I found 2 dictionary definitions of scamper.
The first is "the act of moving hurriedly and in a careless manner", which probably describes my running style fairly accurately.
But the one I like better is "to run about playfully."
Isn't it strange what the same words can conjure up for different people.
We all load our own meanings and interpretations onto everything we hear.
The question is which meaning might be more motivating for you?
Now a new pair of running shoes may not sound anything special, but if you'd seen what my old running shoes looked like, then you'd know that it was a significant event.
I use the word scamper because that's how my friend in the running shop described my running style after filming me running on a treadmill in the shop.
Someone else in the shop said that scampering didn't sound too bad. Apparently he thought that it sounded like newborn lambs leaping about.
I thought, "Yes, they have very stiff straight legs too."
I found 2 dictionary definitions of scamper.
The first is "the act of moving hurriedly and in a careless manner", which probably describes my running style fairly accurately.
But the one I like better is "to run about playfully."
Isn't it strange what the same words can conjure up for different people.
We all load our own meanings and interpretations onto everything we hear.
The question is which meaning might be more motivating for you?
Thursday 27 October 2011
What young children taught me
I happened to be in the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern yesterday for a short time before a coaching appointment.
There were various people standing looking at the exhibit and others sitting on the floor just looking.
But what struck me was that every single young child, that was old enough to walk, in this huge open space was running around, either with a friend, or in some cases just on their own.
They were different ages, boys and girls, but I couldn't see one child that didn't just run around at some point in the ten minutes I was in there.
What is it that makes us want to run when we are young and are in a large open space? And when we were children, we didn't say, "I don't like running. I don't see the point of just running for the sake of it."
Young children run just for the sake of it. They run for the for the sheer joy and exhilaration of it. They run because it makes them feel alive and it feels like fun.
What do you do that has no point to it, but you do it for the sheer joy and exhilaration of it?
There were various people standing looking at the exhibit and others sitting on the floor just looking.
But what struck me was that every single young child, that was old enough to walk, in this huge open space was running around, either with a friend, or in some cases just on their own.
They were different ages, boys and girls, but I couldn't see one child that didn't just run around at some point in the ten minutes I was in there.
What is it that makes us want to run when we are young and are in a large open space? And when we were children, we didn't say, "I don't like running. I don't see the point of just running for the sake of it."
Young children run just for the sake of it. They run for the for the sheer joy and exhilaration of it. They run because it makes them feel alive and it feels like fun.
What do you do that has no point to it, but you do it for the sheer joy and exhilaration of it?
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Finding the right balance
Yesterday I had another session with my physiotherapist who showed me that when I lean forward when I run, I'm increasing the impact when my feet strike the ground.
He got me to explore the difference in impact when I lean back compared to leaning forward.
It was quite an eye opener.
So on this morning's run, I was experimenting with angles of leaning to see what worked best in my objective to run more quietly.
In between thinking about my leaning, I thought that this was another example of finding the right balance.
Where do you need to tune the balance in your life?
He got me to explore the difference in impact when I lean back compared to leaning forward.
It was quite an eye opener.
So on this morning's run, I was experimenting with angles of leaning to see what worked best in my objective to run more quietly.
In between thinking about my leaning, I thought that this was another example of finding the right balance.
Where do you need to tune the balance in your life?
Tuesday 25 October 2011
10 words with massive impact
On my run this morning I remembered the email, I received last night, about the coaching workshop I ran for teachers on the Be the Best You Can Be! programme on Friday.
The email said, "Tony was fantastic and the training session went down well."
I don't know how long or how much effort it took the sender of the email to type those 10 words, but it must have been multiplied by a factor of at least 100 in terms of the impact it had on me.
What an easy thing to do, but what a gift to another person!
There's a line in the song "Money" written by Berry Gordy, of Tamla Motown fame, and Janie Bradford that goes, "Money don't get everything it's true. What it don't get I can't use..."
I don't think so.
What simple few words will you say today to express your appreciation of somebody?
The email said, "Tony was fantastic and the training session went down well."
I don't know how long or how much effort it took the sender of the email to type those 10 words, but it must have been multiplied by a factor of at least 100 in terms of the impact it had on me.
What an easy thing to do, but what a gift to another person!
There's a line in the song "Money" written by Berry Gordy, of Tamla Motown fame, and Janie Bradford that goes, "Money don't get everything it's true. What it don't get I can't use..."
I don't think so.
What simple few words will you say today to express your appreciation of somebody?
Monday 24 October 2011
Escaping the helter skelter of wrong
Yesterday we were on a bike ride and I caught myself (with a little help) having a good old moan (mostly in my head) because I'd lost track of where we were, which way we should go next, and because this was not how I had imagined it would be.
What I find interesting is that as long as you spend the time in your head telling yourself everything that is wrong with the situation, there is no escape. It's like being on a helter skelter careering madly downwards in a spiral.
There are two ways to step off the helter skelter of everything that's wrong.
The first is to switch your focus from all that is wrong externally, to being curious with what's going on with you right now.
It's like engaging a separate area of your brain from the part that's having a good old temper tantrum.
Engage the part that lets you go "That's interesting what the other part of my brain is doing right now. I wonder what it's really trying to achieve?"
Timothy Gallwey in The Inner Game of Work uses the acronym STOP for this, meaning:
It's always there if you look for it, whether it's being out on your bike in the fresh air, being with someone you love, in the experience of doing something new.
What I find interesting is that as long as you spend the time in your head telling yourself everything that is wrong with the situation, there is no escape. It's like being on a helter skelter careering madly downwards in a spiral.
There are two ways to step off the helter skelter of everything that's wrong.
The first is to switch your focus from all that is wrong externally, to being curious with what's going on with you right now.
It's like engaging a separate area of your brain from the part that's having a good old temper tantrum.
Engage the part that lets you go "That's interesting what the other part of my brain is doing right now. I wonder what it's really trying to achieve?"
Timothy Gallwey in The Inner Game of Work uses the acronym STOP for this, meaning:
- Step Back
- Think
- Organise Your Thoughts, and
- Proceed
It's always there if you look for it, whether it's being out on your bike in the fresh air, being with someone you love, in the experience of doing something new.
Sunday 23 October 2011
Formula for successful next steps
I read a quote from David Allen in Michael Bungay Stanier's Do More Great Work shortly before my run this morning, which goes "You can't do a project. You can only do the next step."
I don't know about you, but I have lots of ideas, quite a few of them that I think are pretty good. I have most of them scribbled down in a book or on 3x5 cards.
For most of them, though, I don't have a clear next step. That's why they are still just ideas or projects that I think would be great to do.
If I had clarified a next step for each of those ideas or projects, it would look very different, or at least for the ones that I think are most important to me right now.
There were also some statistics in the book about the likelihood of you reaching a goal that you set yourself:
I don't know about you, but I have lots of ideas, quite a few of them that I think are pretty good. I have most of them scribbled down in a book or on 3x5 cards.
For most of them, though, I don't have a clear next step. That's why they are still just ideas or projects that I think would be great to do.
If I had clarified a next step for each of those ideas or projects, it would look very different, or at least for the ones that I think are most important to me right now.
There were also some statistics in the book about the likelihood of you reaching a goal that you set yourself:
- 10 percent if you hear an idea
- 25 percent if you decide to do it
- 40 percent if you decide when you're going to do it
- 50 percent if you plan how you're going to do it
- 65 percent if you tell someone you're going to do it
- 95 percent if you set up a time to report back that person on how you did.
Saturday 22 October 2011
What's your best possible start?
Because it's the weekend and I was up a bit later this morning, the heating came on in the house before I got up.
As a result, I had a headache when I started my run, which was with me for most of my two mile jaunt.
However, by the time I got home my head had cleared and I felt much better.
It is amazing just how many times my morning run has enhanced my feeling of wellbeing, whether it's lifted my mood, helped me feel more physically energised and alert, cleared a headache, given me new ideas, or blown away the cobwebs from over indulging the night before.
What do you do to give your day the best possible start?
As a result, I had a headache when I started my run, which was with me for most of my two mile jaunt.
However, by the time I got home my head had cleared and I felt much better.
It is amazing just how many times my morning run has enhanced my feeling of wellbeing, whether it's lifted my mood, helped me feel more physically energised and alert, cleared a headache, given me new ideas, or blown away the cobwebs from over indulging the night before.
What do you do to give your day the best possible start?
Friday 21 October 2011
'Yes, and' keeps the flame alive
Another early morning as I'm heading off to Wickford in Essex to coach a group of teachers to run the Be the Best You Can Be! programme.
Before I went to sleep last night, I was flicking through David Hemery's "How to help children find the champion within themselves", and was reminded of the importance of 'Yes, and', rather than 'Yes, but'.
'Yes, but' negates everything that you say before the 'but' and leaves the recipient with the taste of your criticism.
'Yes, and' validates the person you're talking to and lets you add something to their contribution.
What's most important is that 'Yes, and' keeps the flame of their enthusiasm alive while letting you contribute.
How will you keep someone's flame of enthusiasm alive today?
Before I went to sleep last night, I was flicking through David Hemery's "How to help children find the champion within themselves", and was reminded of the importance of 'Yes, and', rather than 'Yes, but'.
'Yes, but' negates everything that you say before the 'but' and leaves the recipient with the taste of your criticism.
'Yes, and' validates the person you're talking to and lets you add something to their contribution.
What's most important is that 'Yes, and' keeps the flame of their enthusiasm alive while letting you contribute.
How will you keep someone's flame of enthusiasm alive today?
Thursday 20 October 2011
What are you thankful for?
I have a daily ritual on my morning runs.
I say a thank you in my head for having another morning of life, and a thank you for, once again, being able to run. Then I will say a few more things that I'm thankful for.
Sometimes, though, I find myself almost ticking off a list of things that I say thank you for every day.
When I get into this pattern, it tends to lose its meaning. It just becomes something that I'm supposed to do, and then I've done it and can move on to the next thing.
When I realise that I'm in this rut, then I ask myself questions about what I might have noticed yesterday and what I'm expecting that I might encounter today, and what about those things I'm grateful for.
It makes it all "real" again for me.
This morning I was thankful for the lovely cold, crisp morning.
I was also thankful for the fact that when I attend networking meetings, I usually find it quite a struggle when I first get there, but once I engage in conversation with someone about something real about their life, rather than just idle chit chat, I really enjoy it.
What are you thankful for today?
I say a thank you in my head for having another morning of life, and a thank you for, once again, being able to run. Then I will say a few more things that I'm thankful for.
Sometimes, though, I find myself almost ticking off a list of things that I say thank you for every day.
When I get into this pattern, it tends to lose its meaning. It just becomes something that I'm supposed to do, and then I've done it and can move on to the next thing.
When I realise that I'm in this rut, then I ask myself questions about what I might have noticed yesterday and what I'm expecting that I might encounter today, and what about those things I'm grateful for.
It makes it all "real" again for me.
This morning I was thankful for the lovely cold, crisp morning.
I was also thankful for the fact that when I attend networking meetings, I usually find it quite a struggle when I first get there, but once I engage in conversation with someone about something real about their life, rather than just idle chit chat, I really enjoy it.
What are you thankful for today?
Wednesday 19 October 2011
How not to get commitment
There's a cartoon in David Hemery's excellent little book, "How to help children find the champion within themselves", where a mother is sitting in a car next to her daughter saying "Don't you agree that what I am suggesting will be the best for you?"
Although I have been earning my living as a coach for more than eight years, I still recognise myself now at times in that well meaning mother.
What the cartoon also shows is the look on the little girl's face, which is either angry, upset or possibly both.
So I guess I still haven't got it all sorted!
In fact, although the words were different, that scenario was extremely similar to a situation I managed poorly last night.
I have delivered workshops to business people in the past, describing the difference between compliance and commitment.
Telling people to do what you think they should do generally creates compliance, but no buy in.
Asking people what they think and using their ideas and solutions creates real commitment and buy in.
I still have plenty of work to do!
Although I have been earning my living as a coach for more than eight years, I still recognise myself now at times in that well meaning mother.
What the cartoon also shows is the look on the little girl's face, which is either angry, upset or possibly both.
So I guess I still haven't got it all sorted!
In fact, although the words were different, that scenario was extremely similar to a situation I managed poorly last night.
I have delivered workshops to business people in the past, describing the difference between compliance and commitment.
Telling people to do what you think they should do generally creates compliance, but no buy in.
Asking people what they think and using their ideas and solutions creates real commitment and buy in.
I still have plenty of work to do!
Tuesday 18 October 2011
The 2 key characteristics for success
It was very dark this morning as I stepped out on the pavement for my morning mile.
On this morning's run I got to thinking about my 40-second introduction I am going to do at my breakfast networking meeting I'm off to shortly.
Then I thought about what I've learned over the past 12 years about how important self-awareness and responsibility are for success in any area, whether it's in Olympic or Paralympic sports, business or whatever challenge you're taking on.
By self-awareness, I mean awareness of your dream, your vision or your goal, awareness of what your strengths are, and awareness of the next step you need to take to get there.
Responsibility is about knowing that you are always at choice in taking the steps to get to your dream, vision or goal. No matter what happens along the way, you get to choose how you react.
That's what responsibility is. You have, and always maintain, the ability and the choice to respond.
What's your goal for today and how will you take the responsibility to get there?
On this morning's run I got to thinking about my 40-second introduction I am going to do at my breakfast networking meeting I'm off to shortly.
Then I thought about what I've learned over the past 12 years about how important self-awareness and responsibility are for success in any area, whether it's in Olympic or Paralympic sports, business or whatever challenge you're taking on.
By self-awareness, I mean awareness of your dream, your vision or your goal, awareness of what your strengths are, and awareness of the next step you need to take to get there.
Responsibility is about knowing that you are always at choice in taking the steps to get to your dream, vision or goal. No matter what happens along the way, you get to choose how you react.
That's what responsibility is. You have, and always maintain, the ability and the choice to respond.
What's your goal for today and how will you take the responsibility to get there?
Monday 17 October 2011
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time there was a man who loved to get up early every morning, run a mile and then come back and write his blog.
One morning on a chilly morning just before the sun came up, he was running and he thought how important stories are to life.
People were always telling stories about what someone said or did that they approved or disapproved of, stories of what happened to them the other day, who they had bumped into that day.
He remembered that also hearing certain songs or smelling certain smells immediately took him to stories of his past.
He thought, "Why even athletes who used visualisations, to imagine themselves succeeding before they actually got there, were creating stories of a future they were trying to create."
Then he looked around while he was running and thought I wonder what story today will hold for me?
He also realised that the choices he made that day about whether to be worried, excited, annoyed, thankful, stuck in his thoughts or curious about the world and the people around him could change the story of his day.
Then he wondered...
what story will you, yes you, create today?
One morning on a chilly morning just before the sun came up, he was running and he thought how important stories are to life.
People were always telling stories about what someone said or did that they approved or disapproved of, stories of what happened to them the other day, who they had bumped into that day.
He remembered that also hearing certain songs or smelling certain smells immediately took him to stories of his past.
He thought, "Why even athletes who used visualisations, to imagine themselves succeeding before they actually got there, were creating stories of a future they were trying to create."
Then he looked around while he was running and thought I wonder what story today will hold for me?
He also realised that the choices he made that day about whether to be worried, excited, annoyed, thankful, stuck in his thoughts or curious about the world and the people around him could change the story of his day.
Then he wondered...
what story will you, yes you, create today?
Sunday 16 October 2011
Bite-sized chunks
It was beautiful this morning for my run, cold but sunny most of the way, with fog in Happy Valley and a hot air balloon peacefully drifting across the blue blue sky.
I also managed to complete almost 5 miles, which was great with my dodgy left knee.
One of the things I thought about on my run was why I'm still so rubbish at doing my physiotherapy exercises for my knee.
I was told to do some stretching exercises and to then ice my knee for ten minutes, four times a day.
What I realised was that I'm fine with the stretching exercises, there are only a couple of them, but my main stumbling block is the ten minutes I have to allocate to lying down with my leg up, with an ice pack on my knee. This also necessitates changing into shorts each time I do it.
I wondered if I cut the ice time down to five minutes, would that make it more manageable? My conclusion was that it would.
Time management advice says that if a project or task seems too daunting, cut it up into bite-sized chunks. I guess that's what I've done.
What do you need to cut up into bite-sized chunks?
I also managed to complete almost 5 miles, which was great with my dodgy left knee.
One of the things I thought about on my run was why I'm still so rubbish at doing my physiotherapy exercises for my knee.
I was told to do some stretching exercises and to then ice my knee for ten minutes, four times a day.
What I realised was that I'm fine with the stretching exercises, there are only a couple of them, but my main stumbling block is the ten minutes I have to allocate to lying down with my leg up, with an ice pack on my knee. This also necessitates changing into shorts each time I do it.
I wondered if I cut the ice time down to five minutes, would that make it more manageable? My conclusion was that it would.
Time management advice says that if a project or task seems too daunting, cut it up into bite-sized chunks. I guess that's what I've done.
What do you need to cut up into bite-sized chunks?
Saturday 15 October 2011
What else?
When I read personal development books, which I do fairly often, I always have good intentions to do the exercises in them. However, what usually happens is that I want to read on, so I plan to come back to the exercises and then never do.
Right now I'm reading Michael Bungay Stanier's "Do More Great Work", and I'm religiously working my way through the exercises.
I can highly recommend the book by the way.
Michael uses the most often used coaching question, "What else?" a lot.
"What else?" is a fantastic question for expanding your thinking.
Most of us come up with an idea and then immediately decide to go with that idea.
It is far more useful and powerful to keep exploring other ideas before making a decision.
It gives you more confidence in your decision to know that you have explored a number of options and the one you choose feels like the best of the bunch.
It is also much more powerful to ask "What else?", as opposed to "Is there anything else?"
"Is there anything else?" implies that there could well not be anything more.
"What else?" carries with it an implication that there is something else, and requires an examination to make sure there is nothing more.
What else could you be doing with your life right now?
Right now I'm reading Michael Bungay Stanier's "Do More Great Work", and I'm religiously working my way through the exercises.
I can highly recommend the book by the way.
Michael uses the most often used coaching question, "What else?" a lot.
"What else?" is a fantastic question for expanding your thinking.
Most of us come up with an idea and then immediately decide to go with that idea.
It is far more useful and powerful to keep exploring other ideas before making a decision.
It gives you more confidence in your decision to know that you have explored a number of options and the one you choose feels like the best of the bunch.
It is also much more powerful to ask "What else?", as opposed to "Is there anything else?"
"Is there anything else?" implies that there could well not be anything more.
"What else?" carries with it an implication that there is something else, and requires an examination to make sure there is nothing more.
What else could you be doing with your life right now?
Friday 14 October 2011
The gift of obstacles
I had no idea what I was going to write on my run this morning, until my thoughts went back again to some of the amazing inspiring people I met at the 21st Century Legacy event I attended on Wednesday.
What is common about all really inspiring people for me is their incredible belief and persistence and triumph over adversity that would defeat us lesser mortals.
And then I got to thinking that maybe they weren't always exceptional people who were destined to triumph over every obstacle in their path.
Maybe they were ordinary people who became extraordinary by deciding to take on and overcome their obstacles, whatever it took.
In Matthew Syed's excellent book Bounce, he explodes the talent myth and builds a convincing case that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become exceptional at any complex skill.
It's meeting, challenging and overcoming our obstacles that turns us from ordinary people into extraordinary people whose stories have the power to inspire others and lift them to beyond where they thought they could go.
What obstacles will you welcome and meet head on today?
What is common about all really inspiring people for me is their incredible belief and persistence and triumph over adversity that would defeat us lesser mortals.
And then I got to thinking that maybe they weren't always exceptional people who were destined to triumph over every obstacle in their path.
Maybe they were ordinary people who became extraordinary by deciding to take on and overcome their obstacles, whatever it took.
In Matthew Syed's excellent book Bounce, he explodes the talent myth and builds a convincing case that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become exceptional at any complex skill.
It's meeting, challenging and overcoming our obstacles that turns us from ordinary people into extraordinary people whose stories have the power to inspire others and lift them to beyond where they thought they could go.
What obstacles will you welcome and meet head on today?
Thursday 13 October 2011
Never ever give up
I had the privilege of being at an event with a number of Olympians and Paralympians for 21st Century Legacy yesterday.
The message that came across time and time again was to have a dream, to know where you want to go, to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, to realise that you always have a choice in what to do next, and to never, ever, ever give up.
As Winston Churchill famously said,
"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."
The message that came across time and time again was to have a dream, to know where you want to go, to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses, to realise that you always have a choice in what to do next, and to never, ever, ever give up.
As Winston Churchill famously said,
"Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."
Wednesday 12 October 2011
The trap of others' problems
I had a flash of realisation on this morning's run that at one point on my workshop on Monday I got caught in the deadly trap of trying to solve one of the participant's problems.
It's an easy one to get caught in. As humans, we have an almost instinctive reaction that takes us to immediately to trying to solve others' problems.
In my experience, it's far more valuable to help another person explore their problem a bit deeper by asking questions than leaping straight in with your own ideas.
Quite often the problem that's on the surface turns out to be just a symptom. By asking questions, you help others to get to the root of the issue, and solve it themselves.
A far more useful thing to do.
And yet, I know I'll get caught in the trap again sometime.
The trick is to catch myself sooner.
It's an easy one to get caught in. As humans, we have an almost instinctive reaction that takes us to immediately to trying to solve others' problems.
In my experience, it's far more valuable to help another person explore their problem a bit deeper by asking questions than leaping straight in with your own ideas.
Quite often the problem that's on the surface turns out to be just a symptom. By asking questions, you help others to get to the root of the issue, and solve it themselves.
A far more useful thing to do.
And yet, I know I'll get caught in the trap again sometime.
The trick is to catch myself sooner.
Tuesday 11 October 2011
Step outside your comfort zone
On this morning's run, I was conducting a post mortem in my head of the workshop I ran yesterday.
There were several things that I picked up that I would like to do better, including the overall effect of the workshop.
During the workshop we did an exercise on our comfort zones, what keeps us in them, what's available to us when we step out of them, and what helps us to be able to step out of them.
Running workshops themselves is outside my comfort zone, they both scare me and excite me.
But what has been great about this morning is that I have resisted the temptation, that I have so often succumbed to in my life to date, to beat myself up because I stepped outside my comfort zone and I fell over.
I gave myself a score out of 10 on how I did yesterday, I have set myself a target out of 10 for the next workshop I'm running next Friday, and I thought about what I need to do differently to achieve that.
And what's great is that I'm really excited and looking forward to the next one, and even wishing it was sooner.
What helps you step outside your comfort zone, and how can you make it safer to fall and get back up again quickly?
There were several things that I picked up that I would like to do better, including the overall effect of the workshop.
During the workshop we did an exercise on our comfort zones, what keeps us in them, what's available to us when we step out of them, and what helps us to be able to step out of them.
Running workshops themselves is outside my comfort zone, they both scare me and excite me.
But what has been great about this morning is that I have resisted the temptation, that I have so often succumbed to in my life to date, to beat myself up because I stepped outside my comfort zone and I fell over.
I gave myself a score out of 10 on how I did yesterday, I have set myself a target out of 10 for the next workshop I'm running next Friday, and I thought about what I need to do differently to achieve that.
And what's great is that I'm really excited and looking forward to the next one, and even wishing it was sooner.
What helps you step outside your comfort zone, and how can you make it safer to fall and get back up again quickly?
Monday 10 October 2011
Are you really listening?
On my run this morning I was thinking about my opening introductions to the workshop I'm running today .
One of the stories I thought of telling was the time when I was sitting in a workshop just over 12 years ago, when the workshop leader asked, "Are you a good listener, or have you stopped listening and you're just waiting for a gap to say what you want to say?"
I was shocked because that was exactly what I did, and I had no idea. I thought that was listening.
I had always thought that I was a good listener, precisely because I didn't interrupt people, I always "heard" them out.
But what I realised in that moment was that as soon as I heard something that I didn't like or agree with, or something they said sparked an interest in me, my real listening stopped and I was off in my head thinking of me and my interests, judgements and opinions.
That was a real eye opener (or do I mean ear opener for me) and something that has made an incredible difference to my life, including what I do to make a living.
Are you really listening, or are you just listening to your own opinions about what someone else is saying?
One of the stories I thought of telling was the time when I was sitting in a workshop just over 12 years ago, when the workshop leader asked, "Are you a good listener, or have you stopped listening and you're just waiting for a gap to say what you want to say?"
I was shocked because that was exactly what I did, and I had no idea. I thought that was listening.
I had always thought that I was a good listener, precisely because I didn't interrupt people, I always "heard" them out.
But what I realised in that moment was that as soon as I heard something that I didn't like or agree with, or something they said sparked an interest in me, my real listening stopped and I was off in my head thinking of me and my interests, judgements and opinions.
That was a real eye opener (or do I mean ear opener for me) and something that has made an incredible difference to my life, including what I do to make a living.
Are you really listening, or are you just listening to your own opinions about what someone else is saying?
Sunday 9 October 2011
What's your purpose?
I couldn't sleep this morning, so I was up at 6.30 (unusually for a Sunday) with a cup of tea, preparing for a workshop I'm running tomorrow, before venturing out for a 3-mile run before breakfast.
During this morning's run I completely changed my business web site Home and About Me pages in my head, and then promptly came back and changed them on my web site.
And all before 9.00 a.m. on a Sunday morning.
What drove my sudden burst of productivity, was thinking about tomorrow's workshop and the fact that every PowerPoint slide I'm using has a written purpose for it, which is fantastic for keeping a focus on what each is designed to achieve.
This in turn reminded me of the definition of resilience I heard a few weeks ago.
Resilience is made up of positive mental attitude, having supporters and a purpose.
This whole aspect of purpose is key in so many areas.
If you have a purpose, then it's much easier to create a positive mental attitude and supporters will be drawn to your purpose.
So my web site now reflects my purpose.
What's your purpose?
During this morning's run I completely changed my business web site Home and About Me pages in my head, and then promptly came back and changed them on my web site.
And all before 9.00 a.m. on a Sunday morning.
What drove my sudden burst of productivity, was thinking about tomorrow's workshop and the fact that every PowerPoint slide I'm using has a written purpose for it, which is fantastic for keeping a focus on what each is designed to achieve.
This in turn reminded me of the definition of resilience I heard a few weeks ago.
Resilience is made up of positive mental attitude, having supporters and a purpose.
This whole aspect of purpose is key in so many areas.
If you have a purpose, then it's much easier to create a positive mental attitude and supporters will be drawn to your purpose.
So my web site now reflects my purpose.
What's your purpose?
Saturday 8 October 2011
What if this was your last day?
Near the end of my 2-mile attempt to run quietly this morning, I remembered yet another profound thing that Steve Jobs said in his speech to Stanford University students in 2005.
He said that when he was 17, he read a quote that said "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."
Since then, for 33 years, he looked in the mirror every morning and asked himself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer was no for too many days in a row, he knew he needed to change something.
Now, I don't think he meant getting his will updated and saying goodbye to everyone. Maybe it's like thinking, if I only had one more day of being able to choose what I could or couldn't do, what would I choose to do today?
I would imagine it might be something like spending time with people you love, letting them know how much you love them, and doing what you love doing.
If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you're about to do today?
He said that when he was 17, he read a quote that said "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."
Since then, for 33 years, he looked in the mirror every morning and asked himself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer was no for too many days in a row, he knew he needed to change something.
Now, I don't think he meant getting his will updated and saying goodbye to everyone. Maybe it's like thinking, if I only had one more day of being able to choose what I could or couldn't do, what would I choose to do today?
I would imagine it might be something like spending time with people you love, letting them know how much you love them, and doing what you love doing.
If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you're about to do today?
Friday 7 October 2011
Run quietly
It was a beautiful morning with a clear starry sky at 5.30 as I headed out for my habitual mile today.
I really enjoyed being out there when the rest of the world (the vast majority anyway) were still asleep in their beds. The only souls I encountered were two collie dogs (one of which seemed to fancy coming with me) out for a walk with their owner, and a milkman in his milkfloat making deliveries.
Yesterday I finally had my first physiotherapy session that I've been waiting for since August.
One of the exercises my physiotherapist was a simple instruction. Run quietly.
I like being given exercises like that, although it's not something that comes naturally to me as a runner. Nicky always tells me that I'm very heavy-footed.
Run quietly also reminded me of the opening lines of the Desiderata poem, which I think hold many lessons for me, and probably for others too.
I really enjoyed being out there when the rest of the world (the vast majority anyway) were still asleep in their beds. The only souls I encountered were two collie dogs (one of which seemed to fancy coming with me) out for a walk with their owner, and a milkman in his milkfloat making deliveries.
Yesterday I finally had my first physiotherapy session that I've been waiting for since August.
One of the exercises my physiotherapist was a simple instruction. Run quietly.
I like being given exercises like that, although it's not something that comes naturally to me as a runner. Nicky always tells me that I'm very heavy-footed.
Run quietly also reminded me of the opening lines of the Desiderata poem, which I think hold many lessons for me, and probably for others too.
"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story."
Thursday 6 October 2011
I'll miss you Steve Jobs
It was very sad to hear the news on the radio this morning, before I got up for my run, that Steve Jobs has passed away.
Sad, but not a massive surprise as it's been common knowledge that he has been very ill for a long time.
Once again it makes me feel how lucky I am to have just completed my 644th consecutive day of running at least a mile. Steve Jobs was 56-years-old. The same age as me.
When I think of my post from yesterday about the 2 obituaries, Steve's ideal and actual obituaries must have been one and the same all the way along.
He represented incredible qualities. He had passion. He had creativity. He had extraordinary vision. He had determination and resilience in bucket loads. He had belief that you must follow your heart.
After all, he was fired from Apple, picked himself up, created Pixar, and then was brought back into Apple to revive their flagging fortunes. And revive them he did!
I'm going to finish this post with a quote from Steve Jobs, which I have always loved. He will certainly not be forgotten.
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs
Sad, but not a massive surprise as it's been common knowledge that he has been very ill for a long time.
Once again it makes me feel how lucky I am to have just completed my 644th consecutive day of running at least a mile. Steve Jobs was 56-years-old. The same age as me.
When I think of my post from yesterday about the 2 obituaries, Steve's ideal and actual obituaries must have been one and the same all the way along.
He represented incredible qualities. He had passion. He had creativity. He had extraordinary vision. He had determination and resilience in bucket loads. He had belief that you must follow your heart.
After all, he was fired from Apple, picked himself up, created Pixar, and then was brought back into Apple to revive their flagging fortunes. And revive them he did!
I'm going to finish this post with a quote from Steve Jobs, which I have always loved. He will certainly not be forgotten.
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs
Wednesday 5 October 2011
First woman to row the 3 biggest oceans
Yesterday morning Roz Savage, a 43-year old Englishwoman, reached Mauritius on her 154th day after setting off from Australia, having rowed solo across the Indian Ocean.
Yesterday, she set a world record of being the first woman to have rowed solo across the Atlantic, Pacific and now Indian oceans.
What makes Roz do what she does?
Well, the catalyst for Roz's ocean rowing career started 11 years ago when in a steady office job she decided to write an obituary for herself. The obituary she wrote was the one that she wanted people to say and write about her when she died.
She then wrote another obituary. The one that would be written about her if she continued on her current life course.
Seeing the huge difference between the two, Roz decided that she needed to take some drastic action in her life.
The rest, as the say, is history.
What is your ideal obituary and the one you are heading for now?
If they are vastly different, what are you going to do about that today?
Yesterday, she set a world record of being the first woman to have rowed solo across the Atlantic, Pacific and now Indian oceans.
What makes Roz do what she does?
Well, the catalyst for Roz's ocean rowing career started 11 years ago when in a steady office job she decided to write an obituary for herself. The obituary she wrote was the one that she wanted people to say and write about her when she died.
She then wrote another obituary. The one that would be written about her if she continued on her current life course.
Seeing the huge difference between the two, Roz decided that she needed to take some drastic action in her life.
The rest, as the say, is history.
What is your ideal obituary and the one you are heading for now?
If they are vastly different, what are you going to do about that today?
Tuesday 4 October 2011
Running turns up the colour
Running really does turn up the brightness and the colour on my day.
You know when you're looking at photos and they're dull, bland and flat, and if you tweak them in a photo editor you can bring some brightness, colour and the life back into them?
Well this morning was a prime example of how running did that for my day.
I had one of those early mornings where I'd forgotten the point, at least I just couldn't see it.
A mile and a bit later, and today is looking good.
You know when you're looking at photos and they're dull, bland and flat, and if you tweak them in a photo editor you can bring some brightness, colour and the life back into them?
Well this morning was a prime example of how running did that for my day.
I had one of those early mornings where I'd forgotten the point, at least I just couldn't see it.
A mile and a bit later, and today is looking good.
Monday 3 October 2011
My inner game
Back at home again and I decided to run a 2-miler this morning.
I was thinking about how I often get grumpy late in the evenings when something isn't where I think it should be or someone does something that bugs me.
Then I was thinking about what I should try and do differently when that happens next time.
After a few minutes of failing to think of anything, I remembered Tim Gallwey's book, "The Inner Game of Tennis", a fantastic book that probably led to coaching moving from sport and into the business world.
In Tim Gallwey's book he talks about there being two opponents in tennis, the one on the other side of the net, and the one in your head.
That applies to pretty much everything in life (apart from the bit about the net). There is usually an external challenge and an internal one.
Also, what doesn't work when dealing with the internal one is to point out what you're doing wrong and try to find something that you should be doing more of, less of, or better.
It is always far more powerful to take yourself out of your head (and no I don't mean alcohol or drugs) and to concentrate on something else other than how you are performing.
So, my challenge next time I get grumpy is just to notice it and be curious about what's going on, what I'm trying to achieve and how effective my current strategy is. That's all.
I was thinking about how I often get grumpy late in the evenings when something isn't where I think it should be or someone does something that bugs me.
Then I was thinking about what I should try and do differently when that happens next time.
After a few minutes of failing to think of anything, I remembered Tim Gallwey's book, "The Inner Game of Tennis", a fantastic book that probably led to coaching moving from sport and into the business world.
In Tim Gallwey's book he talks about there being two opponents in tennis, the one on the other side of the net, and the one in your head.
That applies to pretty much everything in life (apart from the bit about the net). There is usually an external challenge and an internal one.
Also, what doesn't work when dealing with the internal one is to point out what you're doing wrong and try to find something that you should be doing more of, less of, or better.
It is always far more powerful to take yourself out of your head (and no I don't mean alcohol or drugs) and to concentrate on something else other than how you are performing.
So, my challenge next time I get grumpy is just to notice it and be curious about what's going on, what I'm trying to achieve and how effective my current strategy is. That's all.
Sunday 2 October 2011
How do you start your day?
I stayed in Hove last night so I got to run along the seafront towards Brighton this morning.
I love doing the seafront run, especially when it's such a gorgeous morning as it was this morning.
There was every age, shape and size out running the seafront this morning. And the rest were dog walkers, inline skaters and cyclists. It was obviously still too early for the sightseers, sun worshipers and those on a day out.
What was even better was I topped it off with a dip in the sea with my family before we went back for breakfast in the back garden.
For me, it's so important how I start my day.
If I want to set myself up for the best possible day, I can't beat starting it with a run.
How do you start yours?
I love doing the seafront run, especially when it's such a gorgeous morning as it was this morning.
There was every age, shape and size out running the seafront this morning. And the rest were dog walkers, inline skaters and cyclists. It was obviously still too early for the sightseers, sun worshipers and those on a day out.
What was even better was I topped it off with a dip in the sea with my family before we went back for breakfast in the back garden.
For me, it's so important how I start my day.
If I want to set myself up for the best possible day, I can't beat starting it with a run.
How do you start yours?
Saturday 1 October 2011
On driving and using the horn
An absolutely beautiful morning again this morning. If this is October give me more!
I was thinking what I would blog about on this morning's run and I remembered something I witnessed whilst walking into town last night to meet some good friends for dinner.
It was quite a common occurrence. A car pulled out of a junction, turning right across the path of approaching traffic, and a driver in another car that was driving reasonably fast took exception to the timing of the other driver's manoeuvre.
His reaction was to sound his horn, not as a quick warning, but a long extended expression of his anger at the other driver.
I wondered what the driver sounding his horn was trying to achieve. If he was trying to educate the other driver to ensure that he was more careful next time, I don't think he probably achieved his intended outcome.
If he just wanted to vent his frustration and make himself feel better, I also doubt that he achieved that.
What if, at moments of anger, annoyance or upset, we all managed to do a timeout, and think to ourselves, "what am I feeling and what would I like to achieve?"
If I would like to dissipate this feeling and return to calm, the first thing I need to do is notice that.
So, next time if you cut me up and I jam on my horn, apologies, but I must have temporarily forgotten my own wisdom.
I was thinking what I would blog about on this morning's run and I remembered something I witnessed whilst walking into town last night to meet some good friends for dinner.
It was quite a common occurrence. A car pulled out of a junction, turning right across the path of approaching traffic, and a driver in another car that was driving reasonably fast took exception to the timing of the other driver's manoeuvre.
His reaction was to sound his horn, not as a quick warning, but a long extended expression of his anger at the other driver.
I wondered what the driver sounding his horn was trying to achieve. If he was trying to educate the other driver to ensure that he was more careful next time, I don't think he probably achieved his intended outcome.
If he just wanted to vent his frustration and make himself feel better, I also doubt that he achieved that.
What if, at moments of anger, annoyance or upset, we all managed to do a timeout, and think to ourselves, "what am I feeling and what would I like to achieve?"
If I would like to dissipate this feeling and return to calm, the first thing I need to do is notice that.
So, next time if you cut me up and I jam on my horn, apologies, but I must have temporarily forgotten my own wisdom.
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