Setting your sails

Thoughts from this morning's run -

What if everything is exactly perfect the way it is right now?

Actually how can it not be? Even if you think that it should be some other way, that it's not fair, that someone else has it exactly as it should be for you but you don't, when it comes down to it, right at this moment that isn't how it is.

If you think about it, it is the way it is and any energy fighting that current reality is energy that's being wasted. That doesn't mean that you can't make changes to make things better. 

Something that you do a second from now that starts you moving you forward to where you want to be is great, but there's no point resisting where you are now because right now it's not possible to be anywhere else. A second from now yes, but now no.

So how much more empowering would it be to think that everything is exactly where it's mean to be right now? That's not saying that you were always going to end up here, that fate decides and you have no power. You always have the power to make choices and fate also plays a part.

It's like that quote, "It's not the blowing of the wind that determines our destination, but the set of our sails."

So when that wind has suddenly changed direction blown you off course and knocked you over, that was meant to be, so be happy and reset those sails.

Let IT go

You can't spot talent when you're listening to yourself in the first way.

You can't spot talent when your focus is on yourself.

You can't spot talent when you're not curious.

You also can't spot talents when you're not in the present moment.

You can't notice possibilities when your focus is on yourself.

To paraphrase Elsa from Frozen, you can't spot talent or notice possibilities unless you let it go, and the it is:

• your regrets
• your worries
• your workload
• your beliefs about yourself and others
• your judgements
• your opinions
• your map of the world

The talent mirror

I've been reflecting this morning on a colleague of mine, who is brilliant at pointing out to others their strengths and special abilities, far better than I am.

It's reminded me that helping others reach their potential isn't just about releasing untapped potential, it's also about recognising the potential that they are already using, but don't own, because they don't even realise they have it.

It's like being a mirror that is specifically designed to draw attention to others' strengths and reflect those strengths back to them.

It's really powerful for people to see their talents that they don't even realise they have.

If you want to motivate someone, be a talent mirror.

Who will you reflect their talents back to them today?

Yesterday's learning

I've realised that I move on from each experience quite quickly and am not so good at looking back after it to really identify and embed the learning.

I know, because I espouse it, that there is great learning in mistakes or failings but I also think that there is learning in each day, and while I enjoy the benefits of that learning I don't necessarily make the most of them.

Sometimes the learning is a reminder of something I've already been taught but I haven't quite got it yet.

Can you tell what my learning was from yesterday?

What was yours?

The key to success

Communicating is a key life skill and is crucial to success.

The most fundamental part of communicating is listening, and I propose that the two most important parts of listening are listening to others and listening to ourselves.

There are two types of listening to ourselves.

A lot of us are great at listening to ourselves the first way but unfortunately it's often at the expense of others who we're pretending to listen to.

Most of the time we're so busy rushing to keep up with all the things we have to do, that even when we're supposedly listening to others we're wishing they would hurry up, thinking about what we could be doing if we weren't listening to them, or judging what they've just said, imposing our view of the world instead of being interested in theirs.

The second type of listening to ourselves is when we step away from the hurly burly of all the things that we have to think about and do, and really get a chance to listen to our own inner wisdom.

I know more and more people are realising the importance of doing this, and this is why you're probably hearing more and more about meditation and mindfulness these days.

But for me personally, the best way I've found to do this is by going on my daily run. When I'm running, my busy mind goes to sleep and my imagination is released. It's a time where I discover new ideas and new solutions and approaches to existing problems.

The added bonus is that when I give myself the gift of really listening to me, and not while I'm also trying to listen to others, I'm also able to listen to, and really hear, others.

If listening is fundamental to communicating, and communicating is key to success, which I know they both are, how can you not make time to switch off, and really listen to yourself.

And if you want my advice, why not go out for a run.

Give a little, gain a lot

Looking back on being a pacer in yesterday's Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon, I'm surprised at how little you actually have to do to make a difference to other people.

These are the things I noticed yesterday that you need to do to make a difference to others:

• Notice them
• Show an interest in them
• Tell them how well you think they're doing
• Keep an eye out for them
• Encourage them
• Tell them you believe they can do it

It takes surprisingly little effort and offers huge benefits that are way out of proportion to the effort you put in.

And here's the best part, you get probably as much out of it as they do.

You'd be amazed at how many heart felt thanks I received yesterday, and people telling me how awesome I am. I feel like a fraud, after all what did I really do?

If I ever forget why I love being a pacer in a race, I must scroll back and read this post.

If it's that simple in a race, I think it's probably not much different in other areas of life either.

What do you think?

Pacing for fun

Brilliant run in the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon this morning as a 2:20 pacer.

There's nothing like running a race for others rather than for yourself.

You should try it sometime.

Rolling rolling rolling

I'm not a big fan of foam rolling. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that I don't think that it works.

Basically I'm just a coward and the longer I leave it I know that it will be even more painful.

So there's nothing like leaving it until the night before a half marathon and then doing some foam rolling.

My eyes are still watering and I'm not sure whether it was my quadriceps or my calves that made them water the most.

I'll let you know whether it was worth it or not tomorrow after the half marathon. :) 

Beware of side effects

I picked up my pacer T-shirt for Sunday's Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon last night, loving the colour and looking forward to the race. 

Then I ran a really soggy three and a half miles in the pouring rain with a group of beginner & intermediate runners.

Chatting with one of my fellow runners, she was telling me how running is helping her to deal with the stress and trauma of recent bereavements.

My prescription for most cases of stress - one dose of running to be taken daily. Beware of side effects:

• may introduce you to people with an adventurous spirit
• can give you new ideas even if you weren't looking for them
• can be confusing - you have no energy, you use what energy you have left and you end up with more energy than you started with
• will very likely change your attitude and mood
• can become addictive

Shaking up your schedule

It's been a real treat this week. I've run in daylight for six days in a row as the other people in the house are currently either students or staff at school and it's half term, so I've adjusted my schedule appropriately.

While I do enjoy running in the dark, I also really like running in the light, particularly when we're still in winter. I don't have to concentrate so hard to anticipate, or spot, icy patches, pot holes or hidden puddles.

Next week I'll be back to regular running in the dark but I also know that the hours of light are gradually expanding and it won't be long until all my runs will be daylight runs.

It's always good to be able to shake up your schedule a little to keep it fresh, especially when it's a firmly embedded habit that isn't threatened by the change.

What could you shake up and freshen up today?

Who are you?

Leo Babauta wrote a post in his zenhabits blog yesterday on the source of contentment.

In his post he discussed how people's happiness is often dependent on how they answer the question "Who am I?" 

When the answer to that question is dependent on what you do, what others think of you, or what you have, sometimes you'll be happy and other times you won't. The problem is that you're not always in control of these things. You may stop doing well or succeeding through no fault of your own, you can never control what others think of you, or you may lose what you currently have.

Leo's post talks about redefining yourself as your core values or your essence, which could be something like love, compassion, or connection.

Funnily enough I do something similar, and tying in to yesterday's post, rather than stating that I am my key values, I have been practising "being the possibility of" my values.

Being the possibility of love, connection and communication, which are my core values, builds in the fact that I am human, definitely not perfect and that I'll frequently fail to live up to those possibilities.

Stating it as a possibility rather than a fact recognises that I'm a work in progress, and doesn't label me as a failure when I don't live up to that possibility. All I need to do is recommit to being my possibility, no judgement attached.

What possibility are you, or as Leo also suggests, would you like to pretend to be?  

The art of the possible

Possibilities are everywhere, every minute of every day, wherever we are, whoever we're with and whatever we're doing.

It's just that most of the time we're so busy running the stories we constantly churn in our heads to be aware of them.

When we quieten our internal chatter and wake up to what's with us in the here and now, we wake up to at least some of the possibilities that are there. When this happens life suddenly becomes exciting and full of potential.

I am a student of the art of the possible.

For me running awakens new possibilities.

Coaching also awakens new possibilities.

What is it that you do that helps awaken new possibilities in you?

The pessimist and the optimist

So what is the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?

A pessimist is someone who takes a coat with them even when the weather is glorious and the forecast is great, thinking that with their luck it's bound to rain. After all it always happens to them. 

If it rains they'll be miserable knowing that whatever they do, bad things always happen to them. If it's sunny and warm they'll be miserable because they've got this heavy coat to wear, or carry, so they're too hot and not able to enjoy the nice weather.

An optimist isn't someone who goes without a coat even when the weather forecast is bad.

An optimist is someone who takes a light coat with them just in case, thinking it will probably be gorgeous though despite the forecast, but is then equally happy whether it's rainy or sunny. 

4 key success secrets

I really enjoyed my 6.3 miles this morning.There's nothing like a Sunday morning to go a little longer than usual and get some great thinking time in as the legs just keep doing their thing.

This morning I came up with 4 of the key secrets to success: 

1. Health - you can become a millionaire, lose it all and then get it back again. There are any number of stories of people who've done exactly that. However, you only get one shot at your health. If you lose your health you don't get it back again. I know there are people who have achieved success with poor health, but you owe it to yourself to maintain your health as well as you can. It will make all others steps so much easier.
2. Energy - energy is obviously closely connected with health, the physically fitter you are (whilst keeping healthy) the more energy you will have. Energy is key because your enthusiasm will unlock doors. As Samuel Taylor Coleridge said, "Nothing is as contagious as enthusiasm. It is the real allegory of the myth of Orpheus; it moves stones and charms brutes. It is the genius of sincerity, and truth accomplishes no victories without it."
   
3. Gratitude - being aware of, and thankful for, what you have is crucial for success. If you read anything on the Law of Attraction, it is extremely difficult to generate more, or to change your circumstances for the better, until you appreciate, accept and are grateful for what you have now.
4. Powerful Positive Daily Habits - we are all creatures of habit, some of our habits helping us move towards the life we want, while other habits move us away. Some of those habits are things that we habitually do, and others are our habitual ways of thinking, our beliefs if you like. Replacing negative habits with positive ones lays the tracks for our success. 

My powerful positive daily habit of running at least a mile each day, ticks all of the above boxes. It maintains and even improves my health, it increases my energy every morning, it makes me feel grateful that I am able to run at all, and it is the powerful habit that has helped me create many more powerful habits on the back of it.

Try not, or maybe...

I've often heard people quote Yoda from The Empire Strikes Back (Episode V of Star Wars), when he says, "Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."

One of the thoughts that occurred to me on this morning's run is that there are two meanings of the word try.

Yoda says the above when Luke Skywalker says, "All right, I'll give it a try."

In this context, Luke is expressing doubt, and an associated lack of commitment, in what he has agreed that he will do. 

People often say "I'll try" when they actually mean that they won't, and even if they do actually, try, the best it will be is half-hearted, which in turn will almost guarantee failure. 

I think this meaning is the one Yoda was talking about, and in this case I agree with him.

But there is also another meaning of try.

I'm a fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote, "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." From this standpoint, everything we do is an experiment.

Experiments are all about trying something, failing, adapting the approach and trying again, in a continuous cycle until you succeed.

It's about taking action without waiting until you're certain that it's definitely the right action. It's about keeping putting one foot in front of the other and maintaing momentum rather than grinding to halt until you're absolutely certain.

This is the second meaning of try, and in this context I believe that trying is a good thing.

Gaining clarity

Thinking about my run this morning, not only was it my normal kickstart to the day but I found myself reviewing an approach I'm currently taking in my business that isn't working right now.

My thoughts then changed to what I can do to improve my current approach so that it works, and I came up with a good idea, which was extremely simple.

It actually draws from the success of my mile each day habit, and once again uses the technique of habit stacking.

Whether its's running, meditating, going for a walk or mindful cleaning or clearing up, it pays to spend some time early in the day to allow the creative part of your mind to help you gain some clarity.

Practicing acceptance

Yesterday nothing happened the way it was arranged to. 

The people I turned up to see weren't available when I was supposed to see them. 

The space I was expecting to see them in wasn't available. 

I wasn't able to see anyone at all for a 3 hour period. 

One of the people I was due to see didn't want to see me yesterday.

Another person I had arranged to see had left.

Yet another person I was due to see had moved and no one seemed to know where he was.

I eventually managed to see 2 of the 4 people I'd arranged to see.

It was a great day for practicing acceptance of what is and not railing against it. 

After all nobody died, we all were able to look for the lessons, and today's a new day. 

The bird's gift

When I left the house on my run this morning a little bird was singing its heart out as I set off down the road. 

I couldn't see it because it was dark, and who knows there may have been more than one bird, but it seemed that the bird was following me singing. It stayed with me for a few minutes, then I lost it, but it was there again when I completed my loop, following me once again.

I don't remember that happening before in over 5 years of my morning mile.

I was so delighted by this little bird's song following me that I couldn't help but smile. In fact at one point I laughed just because it felt so joyful.

What would it be like if I gave a huge grin and an enthusiastic greeting to every person I met today?

It feels like it would be the equivalent of what the little bird gave me.

Run the day

I discovered a quote by the late great Jim Rohn yesterday. It goes,

"Either you run the day or the day runs you."

I think that says it all really. Just brilliant!

Expect the unexpected

The more I observe the more I notice that frustration, annoyance, dissatisfaction and anger seem to occur when expectations aren't met.

Does this mean that if we had no expectations we'd all be blissfully happy?

While an element of this might be true, it might also mean we'd still be living in a world that looked the same as the 19th century, and we'd probably not be that happy.

Having goals, dreams and inspiring visions of what our future could be like is fundamental to the human spirit and has been the fuel that has driven us to where we are today in terms of progress.

The thought of what could be and how we can change our lives for the better can give us that spring in our step that makes us greet a new day with renewed vigour and expectation.

But then as I said earlier, when we have expectations that aren't met we end up frustrated, dissatisfied and angry.

So what is the answer?

Now I'm not claiming to have this problem solved. I am most definitely a work in progress and frequently experience frustration and the other emotions listed above.

Dreams, visions and even expectations are great, but it's when we have a fixed idea as to how those expectations will be manifested that the trouble starts.

It seems to me that one of the keys to happiness is to keep our dreams and visions in the forefront of our minds, whilst letting go of exactly how they will come about and what format they will arrive in.

When something happens that makes you go, "That's not what I expected", that could actually be a good thing in the long run.

It's all in the mind

The most interesting thing I've experienced in the last 24 hours was running with a group of 3 other people and chatting with each one on a nice gentle four and a half mile route yesterday evening.

The thing that fascinated me most was talking to one of my fellow runners about how running had literally turned their life around in the space of less than two months.

While they'd dabbled in running before, they've joined a group, made some really good new friends, some of whom they run with on a regular basis, and are now fully committed to running. 

They are loving it and reaping benefits in weight loss, improved mental attitude and increased happiness after going through a particularly tough time over the past couple of years.

Running is not the only thing that can change lives, improve your mental state and help you to meet energetic, fun like-minded people, but it's certainly one of the best ways that I've come across.

I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm fascinated with the effect our state of mind has on our life and that I'm a runner.

After all every morning I give my state of mind a huge boost with my morning mile. 

Get proactive

Yesterday I had what felt like a very good day.

The reason it was good was because I completed lots of small things and felt really pleased with what I'd achieved.

Also I wasn't just doing stuff that I needed to do because others were expecting something from me. Rather than being reactive I was being proactive.

Now I'm all for being active, after all I'm a runner and if I sit for too long my concentration gradually evaporates into the air. I need to get up and move.

But are all types of activity equal?

What about reactive actions and proactive actions?

I've just done a Google search on the word reactive, and it says:

1. showing a response to a stimulus
2. acting in response to a situation rather than creating or controlling it

One of the definitions of proactive I found says:

1. controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than waiting to respond to it after it happens

Seeing these definitions I can clearly see that I was being much more proactive yesterday than I've been for a while.

How much more fulfilling is it to be creating or controlling things, especially when it's to do with your future, rather than waiting for something to happen and then responding based purely on what has already happened?

Maybe that's why my mile each day seems to work. After all it's my first proactive action of the day. 

I choose it day after day.

Watch your thoughts

I was running a workshop yesterday with some young men in their late teens and early twenties.

The main them of the workshop was that what the mind believes, it can achieve.

One of the younger participants asked me to write out the following quote for him to take away:

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

I remember a little over five years ago I thought, "I'm going to see if I can run a mile each day."

As I said, watch what you think, you never know where you might end up.... 

:))

Outside not inside

I'm writing this from a very different perspective today.

I love to run outside. It doesn't matter what the weather is like and how much I may dread it as I rise from my bed in the dark. If I'm wearing the right clothing it is never a problem.

In the past 1,861 consecutive days that I've run my daily mile I have never come back from a run and wished I hadn't gone.

The two worst days of running that I remember were just over 4 years ago when I was up in the very northern part of Scotland in the winter on business. 

Because of the heavy snow conditions and the fact that the car park had turned into an ice rink, I had to run on a treadmill in the hotel gym. Not really my idea of fun.

I'm currently sitting in an institution where the inhabitants are unable to run a mile outside on any day.

They spend the vast majority of every day locked in a single room with one other occupant.

How lucky am I to be able to run my daily mile outside?

What do you take for granted that if it were taken away from you, you'd understand how lucky you've been and yet you'd never realised?

One foot in front

It was my 1,860th consecutive day of running my mile this morning and it was even colder than it's been so far this year, minus three celsius but luckily no ice.

On these really cold mornings (I don't think we really had them last year), although it's over a month since the shortest day, the mornings seem to be no lighter, at least they're not at 5.30 when I'm out pounding (or do I mean gently caressing) the pavement.

Why is it that back to back cold winter days, although having less hours of daylight, seem so much longer than those warm sunny days of summer?

Do you ever have periods like this in your relationships, your work or other areas of your life where you're trying to achieve something?

It's such a huge temptation to hunker down, wrap yourself in warm blankets and stay static in front of the fire, or even under the duvet.

But as sure as the winter will change to spring (although when can sometimes be up for debate) the dips in our lives will not last. The sun will come out, the days will be warm again and the world will be alive with colour again.

You'll be able to take advantage of the opportunities that are there when it's warmer if you can just keep moving, putting one foot in front of the other in the cold dark days.

Taking my time

I did my last long run this morning before the half marathon in three weeks.

When I do my long runs I usually take my Garmin with me so I know how far I've run. The problem is that I can't resist looking at how long I've run for too, and therefore what pace I'm running, so I end up pushing myself.

The result is that I haven't enjoyed most of my longer runs recently.

This morning I still took my Garmin but I told myself that I would only look at the time I'd run and not the distance or pace. 

Somehow I managed to resist the temptation to look at anything other than the elapsed time, so I had no idea how far I'd gone or my pace, but I enjoyed the run so much more.

In the end I was a bit slower than the pace I would have liked to run but it doesn't really matter. After all I've only just got over a cold so I reckon I'll be fine when the half marathon arrives.

Measuring effort is generally more motivating than measuring achievements. 

When you consistently put in the effort, the achievements will come.