Act as if

It took me twenty minutes battling with myself to drag my body out of bed this morning to go for my run.

Doesn't that sound weird, "battling with myself?"

It's almost as if there are two of me. And actually, I think there are.

There is the one that feels really good about being up earlier than anyone else, feels proud in getting another run under my belt, one day closer to my next milestone of 400 days (this Friday), and thinks that anything is possible.

Then there's the one that thinks it quite reasonable to stay in bed a bit longer, that thinks, "what's the point of running every day anyway, what does it achieve?", that thinks that if I was awake in the night I deserve to lie in a while, especially as I've got no early commitments.

As I said it took twenty minutes for the first me to overcome the second this morning.

I definitely like the first me better than the second, at least most of the time I do.

And both the me's will always be there.

The key is the whole Act as if technique.

If I feel weak and I want to feel strong, I just have to start acting strong and I start to feel stronger.

I think this works with pretty much any way of feeling.

If I want to feel kind and loving, I have to start acting kind and loving and hey presto.

The other key is the word "start". Saying "I'll just start acting..." in whatever way feels much more achievable than saying "I'll act..."

It cons the second me into thinking that it's probably only for a minute, but once I've started it tips the balance in my first me's favour.

Anyway, enough exploring my schizophrenia. It's goodbye from me, and it's goodbye from me.

Five more days

Out late last night, so this morning's nine miles were quite a challenge.

No overtaking anyone today.

I also haven't run more than two miles a day since last Sunday, which added to the morning's challenge.

Anyway, four weeks today until the half marathon, and five more days until I'll have completed 400 days of running a mile each day.

Pavlov's at it again

It must be something about Saturdays, but my friend Pavlov took control of me again this morning.

I heard the much quicker steps coming up behind me. I noticed my stride lengthening a bit, but I didn't increase my cadence - too obvious.

Then a young lady cruised past me fairly effortlessly. I thought, "She's too fast for me".

My pace quickened and I found myself maintaining the distance between her and me. I wasn't thinking, "I must catch her", honest.

After another quarter of a mile she started to slow a little and I couldn't help myself, I went past her and maintained the pace.

But it gets worse.

Further along I spied another runner ahead of me. He went down a road that I hadn't intended to run down. Guess what, I went after him and overtook him at the bottom.

There's no denying it. I can't say I'm not competitive, but why do I do it?

I think it's probably reminding myself that I am good enough as I am. Although why overtaking someone I've never met in my life before does that, I don't really know.

I will definitely have to keep Pavlov locked in the house four weeks tomorrow when I'm pacing other runners in the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon. It wouldn't do to race the people who I'm helping to achieve their goals.

Thinking about it, helping others achieve their goals and dreams actually beats competition by a mile (no pun intended) for me as a sense of satisfaction, so I should be fine.

Feeling truly alive

No motorways to run across this morning, just a dark golf course, footpaths, one small stretch of busy road and a few deserted ones. It's nice to be back home.

There was one brief moment when I was running up a path this morning with trees and grass either side of me and one street light illuminating a small part of it. It really felt like I was running through a magical world at that moment.

Those are the moments that make running special to me.

What I realised at that moment is the importance of things that are growing, living and breathing.

Running on roads next to cars doesn't actually inspire me. However, running in, or close, to nature inspires me tremendously. It make me feel truly alive.

Is this about me?

My last run in Manchester completed.

It's very different running over the top of a motorway every morning compared to my normal run along unmade up roads full of potholes, where it's unusual to meet someone walking a dog at six in the morning. The M60 has cars shooting along it at six o'clock I can assure you.

On my run, I was thinking about a comment one of the participants on my workshop made yesterday. He said that he didn't like confrontation or upsetting people, and that he was too soft.

I recognised this quality in myself, but what I realised on my run this morning is that, for me at least, when I'm in that space, the person I really don't like upsetting is me.

We, or I, fool ourselves into thinking that we are too nice and kind to deliver a tough message to someone because we don't want to hurt them.

If I needed a tough message to be delivered to me, what would I prefer?

Would it be someone who delayed giving it to me because they didn't want to hurt me?

Would it be someone who wrapped the message up in so much cotton wool (metaphorically obviously) that I didn't really understand the message?

Or would it be someone who delivered the message clearly, concisely to me, with empathy, and with complete honesty?

I know that I would prefer the latter every time.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about upsetting people for fun, but where they need to hear the message to be able to move forward or progress.

So, I'm going to stop telling myself I'm too nice and I don't like to upset people when I know that it's me I don't like to upset.

Once again, the question for me to ask is, "Is this about me or them?"

Mark Twain was right

A few degrees cooler this morning but still OK running in my tee-shirt in Manchester.

I was reminded of a quote by Mark Twain today that goes,

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

This was because I had a sudden panic late last night that I didn't know the course material, which I was due to deliver today, well enough.

I then began worrying that today might be a disaster, that I would get bad feedback and I would then feel even worse.

Whilst running, I thought about the fact that I have delivered the material before with no problems, and also the fact that as long as I'm worrying, my focus is on me.

In my experience, delivering workshops works best when my focus is on the participants and I use the material as a structure.

So, I managed to let my worries go, commit to focusing on the participants, and to enjoying the experience.

Guess what.

It all went really well, and I really enjoyed it.

That Mark Twain knew what he was talking about, and I reckon I've proved that many many times!

Now, about me being an old man...

Dreams are everywhere

Just been for a nice early mile and a bit run in Manchester.

I discovered when I went to put my running kit on that I hadn't packed my long-sleeved running tops, so it was tee-shirt running for me this morning.

I'm lucky that it's a balmy five degrees celsius here in Manchester, so this morning it wasn't a problem.

I just hope the temperature doesn't drop too drastically in Manchester before I head home on Thursday.

I was thinking on my run that I'm coming across the importance of having an inspiring vision, a dream to aim for, or setting a clear direction, everywhere I look at the moment.

Today I'm leading part one of a 3-part programme called Leading in Tough Times, and one of the things we concentrate on is setting a clear direction for your team.

I wonder if it's like when you buy a new car, you suddenly become aware of all the other cars that are the same make and model as yours that you never noticed before.

Lessons from the birds

The birds seemed to be extra happy this morning while I was running, at least it sounded like they were singing louder and more beautifully than usual.

Maybe they liked the mild morning, or maybe the volume and tunefulness of their singing has nothing to do with how happy they are.

But their apparent chirpiness had the effect of brightening my morning and making me feel happier.

This got me thinking how my behaviour, and whether I'm acting upbeat, cheerful and having fun, or whether I'm showing that I'm fed up, stressed, and angry doesn't just affect me.

It can actually affect all those around me, and possibly, if it brightens their mood, they might in turn affect others.

Anyway, the stiffness in my legs noticeably eased during my mile and a bit, which is really good.

Time to be chirpy and see if I can brighten the day for those I meet today.

Achy legs part 2

My legs are aching once again because I've pushed the boundaries by running just over eleven miles this morning.

Even though my batteries died in my Garmin GPS device, I was doing an out and back course, so I know the distance because I'd run 5.6 miles when I turned round and headed for home.

Anyway, my legs feel very much like they did last Sunday when I ran 8.75 miles. However, I feel much better about it because I still have five weeks to go to the half marathon and only two miles to add to my distance.

I really do live in a lovely part of the country. I was noticing the fields, trees, sheep and wildlife along the route and thinking how lucky I am.

At one point a farmer drove past me in his tractor and I thought at first that he was singing, until I noticed half a dozen sheep in his trailer and realised it was them. They weren't actually singing I hasten to add, but maybe my ability to identify sounds is affected by tired legs and general knackerdness.

This afternoon we're having a family celebration for my youngest's 14th birthday, which should be fun with 4 generations of the family present.

Pavlov's runner

Is it just me or is there something in all of us (those of us who run anyway) that when we see another runner, or runners, ahead of us, can't quite resist seeing if we can speed up a little to see if we might be able to catch them, and even overtake them?

It happened to me this morning. I feel like Pavlov's dog, not that I'm suggesting that I salivate when I see other runners, at least I don't think I do. I'd better check when it happens next time.

But I go through the whole thought process...

"No, that's silly and meaningless to see if I can catch them."

"It will interfere with my natural speed and rhythm of running, and might even make injury more likely."

"Oh, I seem to be speeding up. If I go just a tiny bit faster I might even catch them."

"Yay, how about that I overtook them right at the top of the hill. Result!"

"I'd better keep up the pace otherwise they might overtake me back again, and besides if I slow down they'll know I was just trying to overtake them and I'll look stupid."

All this happened to me this morning.

Is it that I'm competitive?

Or maybe, it's just that it introduces an element of a game into the run, which makes it even more fun and interesting. After all, challenges and stretching our comfort zones is good, isn't it?

Who am I trying to kid! I like to look good (don't we all?) and I just can't resist an opportunity.

A spring in my step

My youngest's 14th birthday today. How time flies!

Quick mile followed by presents and cards this morning.

My new business cards were delivered a few minutes ago. I always find it exciting to have new leaflets and business cards. It puts a new spring in my step and turns up my enthusiasm dial.

Maybe I should take the cards on my run with me, it would be good to add a new spring in my step when I'm running.

Two faces of running

Ran with the Harriers for the first time in 14 months last night, which was fun, but I found it hard work.

My mile this morning was also tough as my legs were stiff and my left knee was a little bit sore, but the old legs have got 24 hours rest now, so they should be fine.

I couldn't believe the number of people at the Harriers last night. There could easily have been over 100. It's fantastic to see how many people are engaged in recreational running, or any sort of physical exercise actually.

And it was great. On the run I met and chatted with a couple of people I hadn't met before, and then afterwards someone bought me a drink at the bar and I chatted with others.

My early morning runs and the club runs are so different. One is time to myself which I find so valuable and creative, and the other is so sociable and all about connection, which is one of my core values.

Running is definitely a win win any way you look at it for me.

The Dalai Lama would be proud

Woke early again this morning and went for a quick, chilly one. Run that is.

I'm off to another networking event shortly, so more people to meet, which should be fun.

Feeling a bit rushed to get this written so I can go and de-ice the car.

What's my challenge today?

To get the key things done from my list, whilst remaining in the present moment, particularly to others around me.

I think the words of the day are kindness and compassion.

The Dalai Lama would be proud of me.

Island communication

Isn't the human body amazing how it recovers so quickly, even at my age?!

I felt so much looser on this morning's run and was a lot faster. Yesterday it really was a plod as my legs were stiff and achy.

I know they suggest you have a rest day after an especially long run or a fast speed or interval session, but I reckon my gentle mile a day works as well as a rest day with the added advantage that it allows me to give my sore legs a gentle warming up.

The next stage towards my 13.1 miles doesn't seem quite so bad now.

I had a really enjoyable day yesterday interviewing a couple of people and being interviewed, which was all being filmed, on the subject of wellness.

I learned quite a lot about caveman wellness, health wealth, toxic gotchas, and the five love languages.

The other thing I thought on my run this morning, is that although I'm highly trained in the art of listening, it's so much easier really listening to someone with whom you don't have an emotional attachment because it's all about them.

As soon as you listen to a partner, child, family member or work colleague, what you hear becomes about you, even if it's not, and that's harder to listen to.

I liked the metaphor about communicating on each other's "island" and leaving your own "stuff" on your own island.

I learn something new every day!

The enemy of the present

A very gentle, extremely soggy mile and a bit this morning, slightly earlier than usual.

We are getting ready for filming that is gong to be going on all day at our house, starting at 8.00 this morning.

Whilst gaily splashing through puddles this morning, I was thinking how the pile of unorganised papers all over my desk reflected the thought processes in my head over the last few days.

Clutter, both of the physical and mental variety, is the absolute enemy of being able to live in the present.

I fail to notice the amazing sights, sounds and feelings that are all around me when my brain or my physical environment are littered with rubbish.

When I'm on holiday or taking a walk in beautiful countryside, is the fact that I'm able to notice and enjoy things so much more because it is a better day? Or is it because by moving myself to nature I have cleared visible clutter and the clutter of things that I should be doing away from my consciousness.

My intention is to notice, enjoy and be in awe of all that is around me today.

Half marathon wobbles

Tough this morning as I racked up 8.75 miles at an average pace of 9:28 minutes per mile. It was hard work.

Another 4.35 miles to add until I'm up to the half marathon distance, and six weeks to go from today.

I need to be able to comfortably run the half marathon at 10:30 pace. Sounds relatively easy but building and being comfortable with the half marathon distance is going to be the key.

Sitting here now feeling quite tired, but a few gentle one-milers over the next few days should hopefully see me ready to up the ante.

Gulp!

Time to build

A quick one this morning because there's stuff to do, and tomorrow I need to go out for a longer run.

I have impulsively volunteered to be a pacer for the Tunbridge Wells Half Marathon.

I'm only pacing the 2 hour 20 minute runners, which is 25 or 30 minutes slower than my normal half marathon time.

But then again the last time I ran a half marathon was four years ago, AND I haven't run more than five and a half miles for over fourteen months.

I think I need to build up a bit of mileage between now and six weeks tomorrow.

Running & Michelangelo

Splashing through the puddles this morning I had a real sense of wellbeing.

I really enjoyed leading the four mile group last night with the beginner & intermediate running group that I was helping.

There's something about running, chatting to people and the feeling that you're helping someone that I find a really rewarding mix.

I also enjoy my running on my own. I couldn't only run with others, otherwise I wouldn't get my new ideas time.

Anyway, on this morning's run my mind drifted and fell upon Michelangelo's philosophy that the job of the sculptor is to free the forms that are already inside the stone.

It sounds a bit heavy for early in the morning I know, but I felt that was a great analogy for how I feel about my life.

I have an idea of the statue that I'm trying to release, and that already exists, and I'm chipping away at the excess stone and things are gradually taking shape. And there are also some intricacies within, that I'm discovering as I remove more pieces.

Anyway, on to more down to earth things.

Now what's for breakfast?

Everything is a choice

I was actually too warm on this morning's run. That hasn't happened for a while.

I'm looking forward to my first meeting with a new client and her manager today and also to helping out with pacing, or rather chaperoning, a beginners' running group this evening, so that will be two runs in one day.

Also a first for quite a while.

I started having that feeling of so much to do and not enough time this morning.

I managed to step back and remember that everything I do is a choice.

All of those things to do are things I have chosen to do.

The world won't end if I don't do them.

Somehow that thought releases the tension.

Lessons from networking

First ever run with Nicky in the dark with torches. Good for her!

Two networking meetings back to back this morning. Enjoyed them both.

The message for people who want to be successful at networking is pretty much the same as it is for anything.

Don't expect immediate results. Invest in relationships and how you might be able to help someone else, with or without financial reward. Results can show up in the most unexpected ways.

After four hours of networking I received a call from someone who found my details on yell.com. Didn't know I even advertised there?

Just get in action and be curious about what might happen.

It's about confidence

I was tired as I plodded round my 1.3 mile route at 5.40 this morning. Some days are just like that, but I did notice the difference the new batteries in my head torch made to my need to concentrate.

I was walking home from a couple of meetings just now thinking about what word, or few words, best describe what it is I do.

The word that came up for me was confidence.

When I got back to my office and reread my two latest client testimonials, the word confidence appeared in both of them.

Very interesting, I thought.

Delayed gratification

I don't know if you've seen that experiment they've done with young children, filming them being offered a sweet, and being told that if they wait ten minutes with the sweet in front of them without eating it they will be given a second sweet?

Apparently they then tracked these children, and the ones who could wait to get the double reward, resisting the immediate one, performed much better in school throughout their school career than the ones who couldn't wait.

They believe the ability to delay gratification is a measure of a child's intelligence.

I was thinking that my early morning run is a similar type of experiment.

The temptation of an extra fifteen to thirty minutes in bed most mornings is a constant temptation, especially these dark cold mornings. And yet, forcing myself to resist the temptation of the duvet to hit the pavement (day 375 today) always gives me at least double the reward that the extra time in bed would provide.

Does that make me intelligent or am I just a slightly disturbed masochist?

Resolution tips

It may be my imagination but in the past week there seem to be a lot more runners out there. It could be people training for the London Marathon in April, or it could also be people who have set New Year's resolutions to get fitter.

I suspect some of them fall into the latter category because I can overtake some of them, which doesn't happen that often these days.

I gave up making New Year's resolutions a few years ago because, like most people, my resolutions rarely lasted two weeks, let alone a month.

My new technique, which I find far more effective is writing myself a letter dated a year ahead. I then write in the present tense what I have achieved in the year that hasn't yet happened, and why that was so important, and the difference that it has made to me in what I see, what I hear and what I feel.

I then keep that letter safe somewhere and get on with my life. For me, and many of my clients, this is much more effective than resolutions.

But for anyone who does have resolutions, here's a tip from Gretchen Rubin, who's book, The Happiness Project, I'm reading right now.

She suggests creating a daily chart of your resolutions and then putting a tick or a cross in the box each day, depending whether you have lived up to your resolution or not.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Another greenhouse idea

Ran my mile and a bit with Nicky this morning, and then added my own "top up". Damp, windy but loved it. I do like running in the daylight.

Yesterday was my son's birthday so we went out for a nice meal in the evening, with the added bonus that I got to see my almost seven-week-old granddaughter again. She is now able to do the hugest smile when you are able to amuse her. Just gorgeous.

Had yet another great idea on the solo part of my run this morning - once again an idea that needs tending in the greenhouse before I transplant it into the open garden.

Anyone would think I was a gardener!

Connection

Early (5.45) one this morning as I had my regular monthly business breakfast meeting.

Still drizzly, but not raining as hard as yesterday.

I've also found out that my headtorch works much better with a woolly hat on than with a peaked cap. I have to balance the rain in the eyes versus ability to see the path or road ahead. When I run on a fair amount of path or "unmade up" road, I think the rain in the eyes is a small sacrifice.

I really enjoyed the business breakfast meeting this morning. It's tough to get up even earlier than usual, but it more than compensates by meeting loads of friendly people and having a laugh.

With a run to kick it off, I can recommend it as a great way to start the day.

Yesterday, apart from my early morning run in the dark, I worked from my office at home and didn't venture outside.

I love to have connection with people, with fresh air and with natural light.

Five to nine

Two-miler this rainy, rainy morning, which was fine except I forgot my gloves. Very cold hands.

I took my iPhone and earphones with me yesterday when walking a couple of dogs using the walk as an opportunity to thrash out some ideas using the voice recorder on my iPhone.

I wondered out loud why, when I had written down what I thought my goals were for the week on a whiteboard in my office, rather than feeling energised and empowered, I felt overwhelmed and confused with where to start?

Whilst talking, I remembered, from my NLP practitioner training a few years ago, the magic of the number seven.

A pyschologist carried out a survey on how humans deal with information, and he discovered that the maximum number of pieces of information a person can deal with or "process" is seven, plus or minus two, hence five to nine.

When I got back from my walk I looked at my whiteboard and, rather than a few clear goals on there, I counted sixteen items that were really things to do.

The first thing I did was wipe out anything that wasn't a goal I wanted to achieve, and I kept going until I had nine or less.

I got the list down to eight, which I thin prioritised into the top five, then the next two, and the final one.

Funnily enough, I now feel focused and energised, and I'm really looking forward to the rest of my day.

I don't know

I had a bad night's sleep last night, and lay awake for over two hours.

I didn't want to turn my light on and read as I thought I might wake my better half, and I didn't want to get up because it was cold, and if I opened drawers and cupboards to get something to put on, once again I might do some waking.

So I tossed and turned, the frustration building.

When my alarm went this morning for my run, I REALLY didn't want to get up but I forced myself grudgingly.

Then I had a kind of epiphany moment.

I've often espoused that there is usually learning to be had from painful experiences. So, what if there was learning to be had from my night time trial and from my tired morning?

Just that thought lifted my tired place of resisting the morning and I immediately felt better. I don't know what that learning is, but just the thought that there might be, was enough to energise me.

Then I thought of my running every morning. There is a perverse kind of self-inflicted suffering in getting up in the dark when everyone else is still in bed and going out into the freezing cold to run, when it's the last thing my body wants to do at that moment.

My body always appreciates it once I'm back though.

Then I thought about the power in "I don't know". If I knew, or thought I knew what my learning was then I would naturally stop being open to an answer. However, as long as I don't know, then I am permanently open to what that learning might be.

And as far as I'm concerned permanent openness is a great place to be.

Anyway, I had a pleasant enough run in the dark and the cold, and now I feel great, AND I still don't know!

Back in the dark

My first early morning (pre 7am) run this morning as school is back and so is work.

It was hard to get out of bed, but fine after I'd had some tea and written my journal.

I really must replace the batteries in my head torch, as it was tricky running up the sludgy mud on the first hill on my anti-clockwise short route, because I couldn't see clearly enough in the dark.

Went to see my daughter performing in the panto Aladdin in Colchester last night, which was great fun again (2nd time).

Looking forward to the first full week of 2011.

Now to sort out what I want to achieve this week.

A mile is enough

Someone suggested that maybe I should stretch my experiment to two miles a day for 2011.

What works about one mile a day is the fact that I can complete the whole process in fifteen minutes, so when I have to get up at 5.00 a.m. (occasionally), fifteen minutes earlier doesn't seem like that big a deal. Twenty-five to thirty minutes earlier would be a lot tougher.

When I look back at last year, in 365 days I ran a total of 699 miles. By my reckoning my average daily mileage was 1.9 miles anyway.

So I'm sticking to my AT LEAST a mile each day, but I can do as much as I like.

I have the seeds of another goal potentially sprouting roots at the moment. This is nothing to do with running or even fitness but it's not ready for me to air yet. The roots are still too flimsy to take the idea out of my internal greenhouse into the big wide world.

I'm not sure where that analogy came from but it fits quite nicely with my "growth is critical to happiness", which I wrote about yesterday.

Growth = happiness

Oh joy. A sunny morning instead of the fog that's hung over us for the past days. Colder again yes, but nothing like the temperatures of the last several weeks.

It feels great to be out with what feels like a new experiment, a new challenge, especially with one so successfully achieved. I know it's just a continuation but it feels shiny, new and exciting.

I languished in bed before I strode out this morning, luxuriating with a cup of tea and reading a book. In the course of my reading I came across the following quote from William Butler Yeats:

"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing."

This explains what I have gained from my mile each day experiment. I feel like I have grown on a daily basis with each additional day and mile I've added.

Although I have to all intents and purposes achieved my goal of running every day for a year, with each new day I'm adding at the start of this new year, I feel like I'm growing even more.

So Happy New Year to one and all, and here's to a year filled with growth for all of us (and I don't mean the type of growth we've just been through from overindulging at Christmas.)